Vietnam: The Culture Shock I Have Been Waiting For

I met my French-Canadian friend Claude at the Bangkok Airport for our flight to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) on April 6th after spending three sweet and easy weeks in Thailand. As it turns out, I had no idea what I was in for by coming to Vietnam. Here's one way of putting it: anyone who has ever referred to Bangkok as 'crazy' has never been to Ho Chi Minh City.

We stepped out of the airport and into the city. We were looking for a bus to get to a general guesthouse area, but were having trouble finding the right bus. The drivers on one bus that we were asking were saying `no more buses!' but then suddenly this other guy, who I interpreted to be another bus driver, convinced this bus to take us one third of the way to our desired destination, where we would indeed be able to find another bus to take us the rest of the way. So, we had our own private (public) bus for about five minutes and 15,000Dong (less than $1) and this guy was sticking with us, and asking us where we planned on staying. When we got off the bus, he helped me with my big and awkward travel backpack, and though I was expecting him to hand it right back to me, he started walking with us and kept my bag, and led us straight into 10 lanes of beeping traffic, which consisted of more motorbikes than I have ever seen in one place in my life, it was night time and so it was a whirring of lights and a wall of honking and beeping (people honk to say 'I`m here' and 'I`m behind you' and 'I`m passing you' and 'I exist', so, the honking is constant) and little did I know that the `way' to cross the street here is to literally just step out into traffic and walk slowly and at a consistent pace so that motorbikes know how to appropriately zoom out of your way. It is actually unsafe to stop or move quickly, because then the motorbikers have no way of predicting which way to go.

Not really knowing that this was 'the way' out here, I involuntarily grabbed Claude`s arm, and clung for dear life, emitting little girly shrieks about every second and a half and eventually laughing from a place of pure fear but not knowing how else to relieve the tension. We eventually got onto a bus where that guy bought our tickets for us (with the hope of some sort of return eventually) but he received a call and we wound up parting ways as a result, and, to much to my relief (I finally asked him for my backback back). We found a room in a guesthouse nearby the bus stop with a nice old Vietnamese lady named Kim, and I flopped onto the bed and released the breath I had been holding for the past hour straight, and told Claude he could take the first shower as I needed about 20 minutes to find myself again in the stillness and safety of our room. It was my goal to seem cool and casual through all of this, but, I had/have to admit to my `sensitive nervous system' and how overwhelming I was finding my introduction to Vietnam.

Every bit of culture shock that I was expecting from Bangkok and Thailand in general that to my surprise never arrived, happened instead in Vietnam throughout my first week in the country. Not being able to communicate, not being able to find food that met my special dietary needs, finding the people and the city itself very in your face and overwhelming, the craziest traffic with constant beeping and noise (and not even knowing how to cross the street the first 24-48 hours!), realized that my travel partner only eats at vegetarian restaurants (I am a full-on carnivore if there are any of you left who do not know this about me, and I must eat quite frequently to feel strong and grounded) and, got sick for a whole week straight three days after arriving and was sleeping everywhere I went while having to move locations on long and loud bus rides.

I don't know exactly how to describe the differences between Thailand and Vietnam exactly, but there was a certain warmth and magic to the Thai people and landscape, and Vietnam so far has been much more big city and cement-y, people staring at me (not smiling and unresponsive when I try smiling in response to the stares), and a lack of understanding on both sides of gestures or hand signals to try and express what words cannot. (I quickly came to love and connect with many Vietnamese upon getting to meet Claude`s friends and making friendships elsewhere, but initially and through being very sick, this is how things felt in the beginning. I might do something like drop a chopstick on the ground at a food stall at one of the many long bus ride stops after being passed out for hours on end from being sick and find twenty pairs of eyes staring at me and I would feel a strong urge to scream out "yes! yes! I dropped a chopstick! That`s right! And I`m an American! That`s right, people! It`s true! I`m the only white person here, AND I dropped a chopstick!!"

Also, people try and sell anything and everything quite aggressively- motorbike rentals, bicycle rentals, hotels, trinkets, food, trips- saying "no" is not sufficient- one has to say "no" and then deal with a borrage of questions about where you are from and where you are going and then a list of reasons why you should do what they are trying to get you to do followed by you saying "no, really, no!" I have even been riding a bicycle and ridden past guys still trying to sell me a "motorbike! motorbike?" or "taxi"! Clearly, I am not in need of a motorbike or taxi since I am riding a bicycle! If they are trying to sell you accommodation and you say "I already have accommodation" they will still try and sell you accommodation and follow you down the street trying to find out how much you are spending at your current place to try and convince you theirs is cheaper. You may ask directions to go somewhere, and they will recommend a location for you to go, and you may tell them that you have already been there, but they do not hear these words- they will keep trying to tell you to go to that place, or, if not, then another. "Where are you going?" is the most common question I believe I have heard in my two plus weeks here in Vietnam.

An amazing example of this took place today when I was riding my rented motorbike to Danang to meet back up with Claude after a 24-solo-trip I took to the quiant little tourist town of Hoi An, and I saw a woman try to wave me down from the side of the street (I was going about 40-50 mph) and then kept going on my way. About a minute later, there was that same woman, on a motorbike next to me, shouting through sandy winds and the noise of tons of motorbikes "Where are you going?" I began a sentence to answer her in earnest and got as far as "I`m going .. ." and then suddenly realized that I was driving 50 mph and doing my best to stay upright in the wind and was about to have a seller/buyer negotiation from this vantage point, and that I knew she was going to try and get me to come to Marble Mountain which I had already done the day before, and with the language barrier the simplest and easiest thing to do was to just shake my head and say `no, no, no!' quite firmly and wave my hand 'no' as well, and as quickly as she had arrived she fell back into the lines knowing that there was no hope with me, which, shows just how clear I was being, which, for me, is a huge feat in my travels in Vietnam so far. Firm clarity.

This country is teaching me, if nothing else, how to be assertive. Whether it is ordering food, bargaining a price (for anything and everything), driving a motorbike, riding a bicycle, telling someone `no', I am absolutely being taught that not only is it okay to be firm and clear and assertive, but actually that it is completely necessary (definitely here, and probably elsewhere as well!), and the only way to get anywhere around here without constant interruption and delay. It turns out that I can be quite earnest and naive as to answer sellers' questions with honesty and sincerity, wanting to connect with the Vietnamese that are 'reaching out' to me (and I wouldn`t want to be rude and walk away from someone who is speaking to me, oh no!) and have gotten roped in so many times to sales pitches. It is amusing actually, to watch myself get taken in so many times. I liked to believe (until about two weeks ago before the illlusion was shattered) that I had some knowing about the ways of the world, but my entry into such very foreign countries has wiped my wisdom slate clean, and I have been feeling like a newborn babe when it comes to being taken advantage of and being such an easy target.

My bargaining skills went from zero, and improved to just looking uncomfortable with the naming of a price that sounded too high, to then just taking so long trying to decide what to do with the repeatedly named high price that the seller winds up naming a lower price because I have stood there for so long not doing anything that they think I am playing hardball. (This is also a `'technique' of mine that my dear old friends from early highschool claimed that I used to beat them in chess- take so long to make a move that they forget what they are doing!) That said, I think that in the past few days, I have made some good bargaining moves, with relative comfort! Ah, so proud of myself for talking the price of a book down by about 50 cents! :)

Okay, this has been the `cultural portion' of my Vietnam experience so far. The next blog will be a more proper account of experiences and destinations, but I had to communicate the `subtext' to lay the proper foundation for everything else. Also, please remember that all of this came through the lens of being nestled in the sweet maternal arms of Thailand for 3 weeks, believing that the most difficult part of my travels had come and gone, expected it all to come at the beginning, and then also becoming sick for a week in such a way that made all sounds and sensations feel like an attack, thus amplifying my experience of Vietnam (the loudest place I have ever been) as being harsh. I have been here 17 days now, and can say with great sincerity that I am loving my experience, and have met so many sweet and hospitable and helpful and kind Vietnamese people, and have had incredibly unique experiences here that I already know that I will miss the place when I am gone. :) (Ah the wisdom of hindsight, experience, and adapatation.)